During Fostering Fortnight, would you consider becoming a foster carer? These stories from two of Middlesbrough's dedicated foster families might convince you.
The buzz of video games, children’s voices and cooking fills Annette Lowe’s home in Middlesbrough.
The 64-year-old smiles as children pop their heads round the living room door and husband John offers us bacon and sausage sandwiches.
It’s a true family home – full of kindness and love for everyone, including the children in care that Annette and John have fostered over the years.
“My best friend was a foster carer. We go everywhere together and that’s how I first thought about fostering,” said Annette, who had taken early retirement and was “at a loose end, wondering what I was going to do”.
She and John decided they wanted to foster - but had to overcome some doubts in her own family.
“Our son wasn’t keen on the idea – he didn’t understand why we wanted to help other children, when we have our own grandkids,” she continued.
“We told him that he’d had a great childhood. We wanted to make sure other children had that same chance as our children had.
“Eventually, we went away to the caravan and my son met one of the boys my friend was fostering. He just melted – he changed his mind completely and now he gets on so well with all the children he cares for. He’s actually changed career and works with young people himself now.
“It was important for us that everyone was on board. We still look after our grandchildren now, that hasn’t changed. They’ve all got a place here.
“When they sleep over, we all camp out in the living room. Everyone loves it.”
Annette and John now foster a young baby boy and two older brothers – aged five and seven – and couldn’t be happier.
“It’d have been awful if they ever got split up – I wouldn’t want that for them. They love each other and it’s easier for them to be together.
“They’ve come on leaps and bounds since we’ve had them, they know they’ve got a home and that support.
“The oldest one is now playing football for a club. He loves it, and he just wouldn’t have had that chance otherwise. He’s got those memories now.
“It’s brilliant to see them both so happy.”
Annette has fostered nine children and also offered respite care for shorter periods.
Her and John’s dedication and passion was recently commended by Fostering for Middlesbrough at a special ceremony which celebrated all of the town’s foster carers.
Annette was named Learner of the Year for her commitment to training.
“I can’t watch the TV. John likes it on a night, but I won’t watch it,” smiled Annette.
“My thing is researching and reading. I do extra training. I’ve always had an interest in children’s mental health. It makes me understand the lives some of the children might have had before they get to us.”
And with a message for those considering fostering, Annette continued: “There’s honestly nothing better in the world – to see the difference that you can make to a young person’s life.
“They’re children, we don’t know what’s happened before they came to us so all we can do is show them love and give them the best start we can.”
Another foster carer who was commended at Middlesbrough Council’s celebration event was Dawn Keogh.
The mum-of-four girls had always considered becoming a foster carer – and decided the time was right when asked if she could welcome another teenage girl into her home at short notice.
“I have been single for about 12 or 13 years, and raised my four girls on my own. That had made me put fostering on hold,” said Dawn.
“I had just finished my last project on my Interior Design course at university, so the timing was right without me realising. It all happened quite quickly.”
The 46-year-old now has a 17-year-old at home with her girls aged 16, 18 and 19. Her 21-year-old daughter lives nearby.
“Fostering is an incredible experience – it makes you think in different ways,” she continued.
“I raised my own girls, and you watch them grow up and see them hitting milestones. As I have raised four girls, I knew I could do it again.
“But I don’t think you have to have your own kids to foster. Because this experience has been a lot different to anything I’ve had before.
“Sometimes you need reassurance because things that came naturally to me with my kids, I’ve second guessed myself. That reassurance and support is there in abundance from your social worker. Mine has been brilliant.
“You just have to be there for the young person. Stable and available.
“I think it’s important for people to see that you can foster if you’re single, if you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, you’re a younger person.
“Everyone can do it and offer something.”
Dawn is now helping the teenager prepare for life at university and is proud of her girls for how they’ve adapted.
“They’re teenage girls, and even before we fostered there were a lot of children in the house so things haven’t had to change too much,” she smiled.
“We’ll have quarrels but we set boundaries and I’m so proud of all of them.”
What would she say to those thinking about fostering?
“I’d say just do it,” continued Dawn.
“If you think you might have it in you, then believe that you can. Even if you only have a positive influence on one person – isn’t that enough?
“Whatever you’ve got, that’s what you can offer someone else.”
Being a foster carer can completely transform a child’s life, giving them a supportive family environment to help them flourish.
Lots of people in our town have the love, compassion and energy to help answer our call for new foster carers in Middlesbrough – but we understand that financially and practically, it’s a big decision to make.
That’s why Fostering for Middlesbrough offers a range of dedicated financial and practical support to help people through the process.
Full training is available, while those who decide to change a child’s life will be entering a reassuring and encouraging community of foster carers – making new friends for life.
We want to make sure that people from all walks of life can become foster carers by offering competitive allowances which have recently been increased – for example, you could earn more than £29,000 a year, tax free, caring for two children under the age of four.
There are many different types of fostering, all of which are hugely rewarding and equally worthwhile – including offering long term care to a child unable to return to their family, short term care and supported lodgings to help care-leaving teenagers on their path to independence.
Foster carers in Middlesbrough may also be part of Mockingbird, a new project which sees carers come together like a large, extended family.
For all the information you need, visit the Fostering for Middlesbrough website.
This story featured in our new digital magazine Middlesbrough News. You can sign up to receive it straight to your email inbox by visiting here.
